thisismydisease.com

this whole cancer thing has made me have no choice but to do much further research into traditional and nontraditional medicine and drugs, especially after the sleepwalking incident (and i assume i’m no longer on the drug that caused it because i’ve not found my telephone on the bathroom counter buried under dirty clothes pulled from the laundry basket since that time). (sorry to those of you that think stage 4 is not unlike the typical pnw crud that hits each year and lasts no longer than a cheesy television miniseries. this ain’t no cheesy miniseries. you might want to take your head out of your ass before the next time you have to shit or you’re going to get a mouthful of what you spew.) now i admit i didn’t (until recently) rely on anything more sophisticated that googling [insert name of drug here], [insert name of drug here] + cancer, and [insert name of drug here] + cancer + effects. and i didn’t research those things i refuse to take, either because i don’t need them (like anything for nausea) or am just morally against ingesting them (like anything known to cause suicidal thoughs - sure, sign me up for a bunch of refills on that one). for some reason, though, on friday and after seeing the name of one of my prescriptions (that i don’t happen to take right now because i don’t happen to need it right now) on some newsy web site i decided to invest some time and play the google game. net-net?

i have a bottle of a date rape drug sitting on my kitchen counter.

date rape drug.

for cancer patients.

not to be used for raping dates, but be used for counteracting the effects of chemo cocktails - things like brain fog, excessive sleepiness/sleeplessness, general malaise, etc. oh it’s also supposed to be a powerful pain killer - but even my docs don’t not recommend taking them unless completely necessary.

i’m legally allowed to possess this drug, as is anyone whose doc is willing to give her/him a prescription. they don’t even require a signature to get the prescription filled.

so, let’s see…pop narcotics that, due to their minimal dosage, are somewhat potentially addictive - or pop something so strong that people use it to rape women with? if you even need to think about this for so much as one second you’re a scary, scary life-form.

in an email sent earlier today, m said that my most recent bout of spam might be leftovers from the “barn door” being left open. (where did he learn how to talk using “little house on the prairie” colloquialisms, me wonders? has he been spending too much time chatting with wannabe cowboys - or has he secretly moved to wisconsin to help some rancher or other with calf-nutting?) well i did think about that, but…there are too many coincidences to validate this. first of all, the spam on this account stopped completely after i made sure all of the errors with regard to the registrar were taken care of. of course *this* could be totally coincidental; however…very early saturday morning those wingnuts i pay to host my sites did what they like to do very early on saturday mornings: brought all of my sites down without thinking that maybe, just maybe i’d like to be advised about such things (stoopid boiz). when the sites reappeared an hour later the spam on this site’s comments area started back up - and the spam on an email associated with another of my sites (the other one that’s well-indexed but, unlike mydisease, never ever had a registrar faux pas) increased massively. so although m’s theory works on paper and probably works in reality, i’m not dealing with “real reality” when it comes to my web host. it’s not holding true here.

good news on the comments on mydisease is the spam is now coming from argentina. with a little luck it’ll work its way back to paris (16th arondissement, to be exact) relatively quickly. i mean it’s made it from paris to argentina in a relatively short time. let’s just hope the wannabe cowboys don’t suddenly realise they’re no more qualified to be cowboys than i am and hold the progression up. and when the loop is completed the little guy in the 16th arondissement had better send candies and croissants as a peace offering.

as promised…here are some examples of the spamination that’s coming through the account. i’ve taken the liberty of removing the pertinent working links so that those of you who don’t know not to ignore spam don’t further muck up your already mucked up computers. (whenever computers are sold to people who don’t know what they’re doing and are too lazy, too unconcerned, too righteous to [care to] learn, those people should have to make a choice: either also purchase, and READ and be tested on, an “internet for dummies” book [no pass test, no computer] - or sign a waiver that releases all liability of the store, the manufacturer[s], etc. for the consumers’ self-imposed ignorance - and guarantees, under penalty of law, that these same individuals won’t bother those of us that do take the time to learn with their inane questions.) have fun!

Judson Kinney | ezbnwek@idjtiveh.aero | nrtoeylesh.com | IP: 200.63.42.136

favositidae dopamelanin anabong koninckite antipart quadrupedal thymate pandan
dltgr jddqhyf
http://hlvxin.com
tpbbj dcfho
http://jdtpoqdeib.com
wialyho rwdkc
http://lzskxvwm.com
sgetd rvjov
http://yyvhcqbptxwq.com

Judson Moore | jztyw@jlxkgrif.pn | rormfgnvo.com | IP: 200.63.42.136

prehesitate keten demirelief menarche pansylike microsclerum electromedical cudgeler
ztncovp pmbrs
http://fqswaoizz.com
pfgvm tngni
http://gwmsvhlbytl.com
jeizfmy nbnza
http://cqfqmgyju.com
kgrdq aodyne
http://kqcopz.com

and here’s the altered (nonworking - see above) code for the last one so that you, yes you you code geeks you, can view, enjoy and “have fun” with:

Judson Moore | jztyw@jlxkgrif.pn | (a href=”http://rormfgnvo.com/” rel=”external”)rormfgnvo.com(/a) | IP: 200.63.42.136

prehesitate keten demirelief menarche pansylike microsclerum electromedical cudgeler
(a href=”http://mbywjgmrlu.com/” rel=”nofollow”)ztncovp pmbrs(/a)
(a href=”http://fqswaoizz.com/” rel=”nofollow”)http://fqswaoizz.com(/a)
(a href=”http://mucoqywamuw.com/” rel=”nofollow”)pfgvm tngni(/a)
(a href=”http://gwmsvhlbytl.com/” rel=”nofollow”)http://gwmsvhlbytl.com(/a)
(a href=”http://flwdiogzk.com/” rel=”nofollow”)jeizfmy nbnza(/a)
(a href=”http://cqfqmgyju.com/” rel=”nofollow”)http://cqfqmgyju.com(/a)
(a href=”http://tmthflic.com/” rel=”nofollow”)kgrdq aodyne(/a)
(a href=”http://kqcopz.com/” rel=”nofollow”)http://kqcopz.com(/a)

be sure to google and read up on the “nofollow” attribute. bastards!

i did a little tweaking to my domain registration and thought the spam ended. it didn’t. well it did for a day - but it started up again last night. the comments are getting more nonsensical (if that’s possible). i keep messing up and deleting them, though. i’ll do my best to remember not to do that and publish a few for your reading (or should i say decoding) pleasure.

just shortly after noon yesterday a cart filled with porta-potties went careening down the green. could there be any better an indication that today would be filled with the “non-norm” on the course?

somewhere around 10:00 today this indication became fulfilled. the course was suddenly filled with masses upon masses of non-typical duffers. these were younger (early 30ies to early 50ies, maybe), more agile, more coordinated -  but equally as bad on the game front. and these were more “whimsical”, what with all the donuts they made their cushmans intentionally spin on the dry grass, and the races they ran down the green at speeds higher than are permitted on the surrounding roads and by other motorised cars. oh well…at least the beer in the beer cart was replaced with sodas for the occasion.

so here we are, mid-afternoon and the non-typical duffers are all but gone. there are a few stragglers wandering about, but i’ve a feeling they actually came to the course to play the game, not play *a* game. i would imagine the normal (geriatric) crowd will return shortly - and the beer cart will, once more, be stocked with beers.

if i’m going to go outside and get some fresh air i’d better do it now. i don’t like inadvertent target practice, especially when i’m the inadvertent target.

today’s the official start of the official end of summer weekend. today’s the day we all turn and wave bye-bye to the gatherings and the sunshine and the summertime fun and get ourselves prepared for the upcoming chill. today’s the day i make my weekend plans…and make the vow to stick with them…but assimilate the fact tuesday morning will arrive shortly and i’ll have to deal with the realisation i suck at planning.

oh well. at least that huge project i’ve been working on since may is officially on hold. we found out yesterday. via email. no actually not directly via email. via a spreadsheet attached to an email. look at my face and read my lips: COWARDS!!!!!

i have no respect for people that keep you hanging on the dangled string - then cut the string without so much as a word.

i just threw away three months of my work - and my life. and given the circumstances i’m not particularly happy about throwing away so much as a minute of my life, let alone three months.

oh well, i’m sure i can repurpose it. i’m bound to get assigned to another project i can use it as background information for. of course that project will, most likely, get cancelled as well. via email.

it’s things like this that make me want to hang up a shingle for the “she-woman man-haters club” but i can’t hate an entire group for the stupidity and selfishness of just a handful - especially when that handful is comprised of mbas and engineers (people who, by nature, aren’t the brightest or most logical bulbs, despite what they and their papers proclaim).

so this is me turning around and waving bye-bye to summer. this is also me ambling around the internet trying to find a pair of gumboots i can get on my sometimes still swollen feetsies. come tuesday i’ll need them. i’m thinking i have no choice but to have these - but these, of course, are more practical. then again, i’m bald and wear funky earrings - and have a stage 4 cancer. screw practical!

so that little dork of mine is really misbehaving this week. at any given point in time he’ll be sound asleep - then wake up with a start, get himself upright and tear off running into the kitchen to try, once more, to will food and drink into his mouth - and if he doesn’t get it piss all over the place. this is so not cute - or even remotely amusing. as you know, i’ve been blogging about his misbehaviour since the outset of this blog - but this behaviour stared late last year and has only gotten worse since aw’s departure for permanent residence in the cave. my friend (and former landlord in raleigh), james, has been following the story along and, today, sent a link to what won’t be an overall solution, but could keep me from having to wash floors and towels on a daily basis:

male (doggie) diapers

little dog is going to be getting a few packs of these shortly, whether he likes it or not.

‘glad i didn’t trash that mondo jumbo pack of super absorbent, nighttime use sanitary napkins i’ve been toting around with me since late 2000 and should have thrown out weeks ago when “the surprise” came true. until the little dork stops being an ass he’s going to be wearing them. if he complains i’m going to paint him pink, adorn him not only with the diapers but also hello kitty jewellery, and make him eat alpo.

i’m feeling optimistic about this.

then again, i’m also optimistic that global warming isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

guess i’d better buy more swiffer cleaning pads tomorrow. and wash another load of towels.

…come from plastic cows?

i don’t drink a lot of coffee. two mugs a day - each of which is filled about one third of the way with creme (and a tiny bit of raw sugar, thanks to the fact chemo makes the bitter nearly unbearable - and the albuterol makes everything chemo makes taste bad taste even worse). even with drinking such a small amount i go through a lot of creme - so i decided to try my luck with some nondairy creamers in order to save both money and my waistline.

my first foray into nondairyland was good. the creamer was one of those special editions - dulce de leche. it had a unique and very pleasant flavour and was sweet enough, but not too sweet. of course because it was a special edition i was never able to find it again. that’s when things started getting scary.

the second bottle - some sort of caramel thingie - ended up in the trash after one day. i’m not sure that it had a flavour other than SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR!!! i like a little coffee with my creme - not my sugar.

the third bottle, a special edition (but apparently not as special as the dulce de leche because i can find it) hershey’s chocolate thingamajiggie, was ok, but so unmemorable i don’t remember it.

the fourth bottle, chocolate marshmallow, tastes like chocolate-infused liquid plastic would smell if such a thing existed - and has so many calories my two mugs today came out to 400 calories. coffee + real creme + sugar does not come to anywhere near 400 calories for two mugs.

the fourth bottle is half finished. i’ll finish it up - but then it’s back to real creme with raw sugar.

and if nondairy creamer does come from plastic cows - and plastic cows are put out of jobs because of my decision i’m sorry. you can come live in my backyard.

the bad: i lost a toenail today.

the good: i didn’t feel it come off.

the good and the bad: i lost a toenail today, and i didn’t feel it come off.

despite every possible attempt, i had no choice but to venture to target today to pick up some thing needed that cannot be purchased at the local grocery, pharmacy or dollar store. now trips to target are always an “event”, what with the seemingly strange (myself included, i admit it) and varied clientele it draws (due to its plethora of offerings) and the fact it’s across the street from a senior citizen compound that provides free transportation to and from - but today was, possibly, the most eventful thus far.

today involved a toddler, his mummy, and a carry basket so overflowing and full mum couldn’t tote the toddler - so she left him run loose.

technically, i don’t think the child was actually a toddler (so you parents out there do correct me if i’m wrong). judging by his overall lack of coordination and language skills - and his small size, i’d put him at about 14 months which, if i’m not mistaken, does not a toddler make him. anyway…so here’s this little short thing that can’t take more than three steps without waving his arms like a loon, pushing his little bum into the air and face-planting himself on the ground. and here’s his mum, arms full of products from a very overflowing carry basket and no arms on him just letting him walk, wave, falter and fall (head first right into the glass-enclosed jewellery case, in fact). over. and over. and over again (and again and again). and every time the little short thing fell mum said “come on honey, get up…you can get up” - and didn’t/couldn’t offer him any assistance lest she lose some of the products from the very overflowing carry basket and herself fall down.

the little short thing was terribly, terribly cute. and uncoordinated.

so’s little dog.

if i were to take little dog to a store that permits pets onsite (like fm, lowes, home depot, etc.) i’d have to leash him or be ejected from the premises.

why doesn’t the same apply to parents that are more concerned about their upcoming purchases than they are about their kids?

if parents are too “encumbered to attend to their children” (read “more concerned about their upcoming purchases than they are about things they themselves created”) they should be required to leash them, just as pet owners are required to leash their charges when in stores that permit pets to visit. even if said parents are too dense to get the real message (ie “it’s yours to keep out of harm’s way and is worth more than that basket o’crap you can’t seem to let go of”) at least the youngsters might not have to spend so much time flopping onto the floor (and who really wants to touch a floor in target - eeeeeeewwwwwwww) and potentially hurting themselves (or others).

this just takes me back to the concept of “if humans want to procreate they should have to pass a logic and reason test before being permitted to do so”.

hope the little short thing is ok. he was so cute (pinch his little drool-covered cheeks).