thisismydisease.com

September 9, 2009

If the dog says “how”…

Filed under: Welcome to My World — me @ 12:53 am

…why do I keep saying “why”?

September 7, 2009

zometa - WTF

i feel like seagull poop. no, i feel like seagull shit. smelly.

last time I saw Cannibal, he told he was starting infusing me with zometa - and i should google it (favorite thing to say to me, but who can blame him as most of his clients are over 80 and don’t have internet access) to see if it’s for me. well, it’s not for me, no more so than alcohol is for alcoholics. do the nursies listen to me? not “no” but “hell no”. i got the zometa despite not wanting it. and they didn’t weigh me so they, most likely, gave me enough for someone of much more weight (like, 50 pounds more weight). so i’m falling all over the place and scaring olivia. and messing myself up to boot. (can you say “blood everywhere”???)

i’m glad i got laid off (although it was illegal for them to do that - bossie didn’t know the laws, especially considering i was working at least 42 hours every 4 days).

and i’m glad my neighour phoned social services! maybe now i can live out my life - and littler dog can live out a part of her life - in peace. hey, maybe i can learn how to use that rangefinder before i die.

i’m tired - and my hands are frozen due to the zometa.  even B’s blanket won’t warm them up. Littler Dog is doing her best to keep me entertained.

my head hurts.

August 10, 2009

If you wonder why…

Filed under: Welcome to My World — me @ 10:22 am

…you’re knocked out of the internet and spammed me, just know that you IP address has been recorded and you’ve been reported. There ya go! You were warned.

August 2, 2009

I Hate the Red Place

Filed under: Welcome to My World — me @ 8:02 pm

Here - read this:

Newsweek

and be sure to watch the video!

June 6, 2009

what i want

i  want everyone who has never had a horrible disease or cancer to undertake chemo. see how YOU feel watching every moment of your life - and being sleepy - and being sick. and i hope you ENJOY waking up at 2:00 am and staying that way for 10 - 12 hours, exhausted but unable to sleep. and i hope you LIKE eating every 2 - 3 days.

i want you to hurt like i do because that’s the only way you’re going to learn. or not. maybe you’re so self-obsessed that nothing can hurt you, and you think you’re immune to everything that is less than how you see it to be: perfect in your mind.

I want you to hurt like i do.

i want you to hurt.

and facebook people (i hate “peeps”), notice how the beginning of this blog post resembles a facebook post? well it’s because there is not one piece of software or ria that i can find that will handle it all. soon…but not now.

i’m gonna go snuggle littler dog.

June 4, 2009

and you wonder why Olympia only has two local taxi companies

Filed under: Welcome to My World — me @ 2:45 pm

WTF???

novaselic?

did he clean up his mouth?

did he clean up his hair?

did he don a suit and play nice-nice with the locals (one of which i got this from)?

or did the locals get dirty to play with him?

first bono.

then schwarzenegger.

now novaselic.

and you wonder why Olympia only has two local taxi companies.

May 19, 2009

why in the hell…

Filed under: Cancer, Welcome to My World — me @ 7:41 pm

…do people call just after 3:00 to “announce” the doc can’t see me at the designated time - then after 7:00 have the answering service phone back with the original time?

May 4, 2009

well THAT didn’t work

Filed under: Cancer, Little Dog, Welcome to My World, Zzzzz — me @ 7:06 pm

sort of.

i had them run the dexi for an hour (instead of 30 minutes), in the hope that i wouldn’t sleep so much two days later. well, i didn’t sleep so much - only 8 hours - but not 8 consecutive hours. two hours here, two hours there. thankfully, Dewey (the book, that is) was around and kept me company. it really is a wonderful book. you should read it.

in other events, i have a gummy bandaid on. the nurse - one of my favourites - did not believe that i spurt. oops. i hope i didn’t get her in the eye. now i have to find replacements - and learn how to apply them.

and olivia is coming for a visit! little dog, little dog! i hope this helps. i’m feeling better than last time - but i’m not feeling that good right now. maybe cannibal will give me a break.

somehow, i threw the alarm. now you never think about alarm clocks, but i had no choice but to, given the fact that after not ringing at all it rang at 2:30ish am regardless of what time i set it for. i ended up buying a little one - only one ringer and sound. let’s see how this works. and hope i don’t throw this one.

thwump.  thwump. thwump. golfers don’t know how to golf - which is why my front yard looks like a playground. front yard. that’s right - front yard. not back.

sun showers. sun with rain. annoying! i went outside to get the water bottles and got deluged. now my socks are wet - and i’m too lazy to change them.

and to the box that was supposed to arrive NEXT week but arrived on the 29th: you’re lucky. just lucky.

stage 4 cancer sucks. this whole ordeal - which has gone on for almost a year - isn’t nearly as cute and cuddly as a new baby, or puppy, or kitten. it’s a lot of hard work.

i’ve had to shut off my bedroom phone to sleep (and yes, i do sleep).

i’ve had to shut off my bedroom phone to work (and yes, i do work).

i’ve had to shut off my bedroom phone.

but olivia is here and loving life. well, as much as a ten-year-old can love life. she’s relaxing in the living room and due to go out for her potty break. she has some issues - but nothing that can’t be taken care of by my vet.  she likes syddie’s bed. i was going to get her a new one, but she likes his. he didn’t. she’s really a little dog - only 12 pounds. but cute. pictures coming soon!

i need to sleep, but olivia will keep me awake. somehow, i think she’s just the ticket.

later…

well, olivia didn’t keep me awake. she stayed in syddie’s den. didn’t eat. didn’t drink. she’s back so far i can’t reach her.

smart girl.

or dumb.

whatever.

later…

i fell today. well, not really *fell* but went down on my knees and couldn’t get up.  i had to crawl over to my white chair to get up. embarrassing, yes.  but more humiliating than embarrassing. now i’m all crunchy.

truly, i cannot tell when someone is going to get sick during chemo. for the longest time nobody got sick - then two people in two consecutive treatments. one older woman coming back, and one younger guy starting (i think). the older woman required a doc - and she was trembling so. the younger guy should have but did not accept doctor’s services.

we don’t even talk about the young woman - a non-patient - eating eggplant  parmasian - something i would love to be able to eat but can’t because it tastes horrible to me, the nearly-vegetarian. and she was rude.

he had a fever of 102. they gave him tylenol.

well, that’s it for now. have to go coral the doggie. and sleep (despite the fact my new alarm is 8 minutes fast and can’t be adjusted - i should have read the recent reviews) .

April 29, 2009

why do people call…

Filed under: Welcome to My World — me @ 12:09 pm

…WHEN I’M WORKING???

here people: i work for 7:00 am to 3:30pm UNLESS i have a doc’s appointment or chemo. then i nap. then if it’s a day that i do eat i make dinner. if not, i have a life (well, as much of a life as someone with s4ibc has).

and i keep the phone in my bedroom shut off - but the phone in the living room is on full-blast so i can hear it.

gotta go…

April 26, 2009

pay it forward

Filed under: Welcome to My World — me @ 7:03 pm

C’s friend S is having a fun little game on her blog. I’m playing along. So this is how it works….. The first 3 people to leave a comment on this (my) post will receive a hand made gift from etsy during this year. When and what will be a surprise. there’s a small catch. you knew there would be didn’t you? post this on your blog then come back and leave a comment, telling me you’re in. fun, huh? remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift.

i’m doing this for C, but i can hardly wait! etsy here i come!

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