thisismydisease.com

two computers died. not one, but two. the mbp officially bit it. the imac officially bit it. i’m now the proud owner of two dead macs - and a mb - which i may or may not get reimbursed for - and which cost over $1K (unlike the original of the computer with lesser specs, which cost over $3K). the lenova, at about $400 or so, i could’t get arrroved for. at all. i never even got the monitor because it was given to me *after* my furniture left raleigh and i had no room whatsoever for it in my car. so i gave it to a colleague and now, picked out my own. per me and thanks to the dead imac. i picked an hp due to the fact it’s an incredible monitor - and the fact that it’s 1/3 the price of the equivalent apple. hell i couldn’t get an apple for under $699.  or is it $599? regardless, i got a new monitor for far less money than i should have paid because i paid too much for a computer i may or may not get reimbursed for. and truth be told, i don’t want to be. i bought 3gigs of RAM - which amounts to 2gigs more than i originally had. i bought a monitor - one worth viewing my photos on and certainly not what would have been purchased for me or given to me. that one would have cost under $100 for a major-assed square box with no colour control.

in other developments, it was only herceptin this time (and next). my skin is so naturally smooth now - and my teeth don’t hurt as much (but cannibal junior is starting to look for a dentist for me as the chemo has destroyed my mouth - and i’m still not allowed to go to the dentist without getting knocked out).  my feet still hurt - but not need-an-oxycodone-every-four-hours hurt. i can get by with six. sometimes seven. besides, they’re only 5mg each, so what do i care? hell my little nephew takes a stronger dose. my hands still ache, though. no nails worth talking about. it’s going to take 4 full months for them to grow out *if* they grow out at the normal rate. anyway…

i hope the next cocktail will be different. this past one was horrible to the 85th power. now i can eat (sort of). and bake. and did i mention eat? things are still more than a bit strange - but it feels good to *almost* taste things the way they’re supposed to taste. it’ll take about a year post-chemo to get my tastes back - but this will do for now. couple this with everything else and, well, you have what you have.

oh, my brain is still really fuzzy. really, really fuzzy.

syd likes me though. he follows me around and gives me kisses. he stinks, but he gives me kisses.

i do like his kisses, even when he stinks.

ms. a took most of what my sil sent to hand out to the folks at the shelter. i really can’t eat a lot of is due to bad teeth and having different tastes by the minute. that’s fine. good, actually. people who can use it are getting it - and that’s all that matters (especially with this economy). i appreciate having someone to go out and feed those whose eating habits are bad because of that’s transpired with them. so brava to sil and ms. a.

so now it’s sleepy time. must relax. eat pumpkin pie (with or without crust - depends on a lot of things). drink my favourite drink (sans chocolate - i crave chocolate  but cannot eat it to save my gimpy soul). sleep well. and throw small soft toys at the tv. michael symon is on - and i do want to mame him. severely. good news is robert irvine is coming back to di in march.  does that mean he gets to come back to iron chef too - or do we have to endure any amount of that creaton? and if so, can we hurt him and get away with it?

for the first time in more than four months, i have shoes - and i can wear ‘em!!!!!

my feet have gotten a lot bigger, but they’re not swollen anymore. so i have shoes, thanks to endless and zappos (both of which have free overnight delivery and return, if needed). a pair of black hemp boots with crepe soles and rubber buttons - and a pair of orange nubuck mary janes with huge elastic straps.

i picked the right size - really big.it feels weird wearing shoes. i’m not used to it. i’m mostly used to wearing slippers and, maybe, the smiley cow gumboots. but not shoes.

i’m happy.

can i sleep in my shoes? please???

…old - but enhanced.

this afternoon’s appointment with jori proved a number of things:

1. i am not actually an idiot for not knowing what to do with fake eyebrows,
2. fake eyebrows are weird at best and extremely funny no matter how you look at them,
3. the fake eyebrows are going to remain in their little carry boxes until the real ones are completely gone - and maybe for a while afterward.

after dinking around with the fakes and realising just how totally ill-designed they are (they don’t take into consideration the skull curves - and the little tiny hairs when curved stick straight out like little tiny daggers) we decided to go old school: draw them on. jori took the time to pick out an appropriate colour - then magically made my silly little pencil line looking actual brows look perfect - and perfectly real. i’d take and post piccies - but the next post will explain why i’ve not had time to do so.

net-net: the old will remain the old until such time as the new is mandated. maybe by then cannibal will let me get tattoos and i can just have a nice set drawn on. there’s a lot to be said for drawing.

i may be the girliest girl on the planet - but i do go through my annual “ooh let’s get pretty” stage each year. this year, despite looking a bit odd, is no exception.

while perusing another site today i ran into what could be an extremely useful and user-friendly eyeshadow (which is important for those of us whose hands don’t work well these days): In A Wink Instant Eyeshadow Sheets.

like the idea of eyeshadow but don’t have the time or energy to fuss? have the dexterity of a two-toed sloth? these might be the answer.

i purchased a box (on sale for $5.99 with free shipping) and will report back when it arrives.

rub on eyeshadow. gotta love it.