thisismydisease.com

people are so excited i’m finally wearing footwear other than randomly purchased slippers come on, folks, you didn’t just love those toggle red fleecy things - or the ones with the lumberjack lining) that pictures have been demanded. since all of this has happened pictures haven’t been at the top of my list of things to do (breathing comes first, followed by eating something that tastes remotely not yuk) - but i have the following to offer:

black toemales are simple

pumpkin mary janes are keen

i’m still extra pleased with the simple shoes - but the keens kinda hurt - which is so odd considering they’re the fourth pair of keens i’ve ever purchased, and none of the others ever needed break-in time. oh well, i’m sure they’ll be just fine if i keep wearing them. it’s only my left big toe - so maybe a little soaking of said shoe in bubble-filled water is in order? ok the bubbles are selfishly for me - but if i have to put a shoe-clad foot in water, it may as well be bubbled. meanwhile…

i purchased sesame sticks and aminal crackers (among other things) in the fm organic bulk bins. the sesame sticks are extremely salty - and the aminal crackers have this odd sense of maple. now granted i do like maple syrup (pure only - none of that mrs. butterworth’s stuff, although she is cute on the geico commercial) - and i don’t dislike salt (sea or kosher only - no substitutes), but it has to be in very small quantities. i might have to have amber taste these. it might be me - or it might be what things actually taste like.

i’m tired. it’s been a long day. i’m feeling good - but a little sleep  might be in order.

i tried to open my sil’s package today. i know, from yesterday, it was going to require a garbage bag for the peanuts alone - and gods know what for the packing paper. i geared up for it. i planned for it. i got about 1/3 of it done before i had to both abort the mission and crawl into the wedge to relax it all off. at the rate i’m going, i might have the whole thing done and fully open by sunday night. i hope there’s nothing melty in there. or alive. that would stink. actually, it should, so i guess i’m back to only melty.

it’s beddy bye time. i need to breathe into my little tube, finish my drink, and nod off into sleepy land.

oh and speaking of drink, all this milk can’t be good for me. oh well. the gogi berry ended up across the room with a substantial amount of force. milk has never done that. what’s a little full fat, weight gain and whatever else organic milk has to offer?

nighty folks.

for the first time in more than four months, i have shoes - and i can wear ‘em!!!!!

my feet have gotten a lot bigger, but they’re not swollen anymore. so i have shoes, thanks to endless and zappos (both of which have free overnight delivery and return, if needed). a pair of black hemp boots with crepe soles and rubber buttons - and a pair of orange nubuck mary janes with huge elastic straps.

i picked the right size - really big.it feels weird wearing shoes. i’m not used to it. i’m mostly used to wearing slippers and, maybe, the smiley cow gumboots. but not shoes.

i’m happy.

can i sleep in my shoes? please???

yesterday afternoon i went to the grocery to pick up some necessities, some things to experiment with (3 pounds of tofu anyone?), and some things just for the hell of it (sure - i absolutely needed that second quart of bolthouse farms mocha thingamagig that is so filled with sugar i would drink it and swing from the trees if tree swinging was an option) and encountered two cub scouts and their pack leader dad. hmmm…very early for the cubbies to be selling - but i couldn’t figure out why they chose thanksgiving time to sell in the past anyway, so the earlier date makes complete sense. anyway…they were cute enough and nice enough - but really didn’t exhibit much personality. regardless, we all spoke politely - and i agreed to come back when my shopping was done to make a purchase.

it should now be noted that i was wearing a hat yesterday afternoon. the rainy season appears to have come down on us - and i’m not a huge fan of random liquidy drop o’stuff falling on my tennis-ball head.

so i shopped, got the promised cash and went back out to see what i thought was going to be 3 very dull but polite people.

wrong.

mum and the daughter showed up. the cubbies either ate some kiddie crack - or daughter and mum pumped them full of sweetie sweets and sugary drinks in my absence. even stoic dad was acting more than a bit, ummmm, outspoken. yeah, that’s a good word to use for a man who tries to get people’s attention by shouting out silly phrases and the like. either that or he had a few beers hidden under the table - but i didn’t just say that. anyway…so we’re outside and talking and being stupid - and the littlest cubbie (about 7 i think - old enough to have some permanent teeth and an obvious sense of his unique self - but not old enough to be anything but a little kid) says something about the fact that he’s cold and i’m not because i’m wearing a hat.

so i asked him if he wanted me to take my hat off…to which he responded in his best cheek holding “home alone” immitation

“aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.

the rest of the family went silent, until the daughter whispered “that was a terrible thing to say”.

mom demanded he apologise to me. dad slunk away. the other cubbie, i think, might have crawled under the table or something because he disappeared from site.

i burst out laughing until tears ran down my face.

so i said to mom “no need to apologise” - and took on the kid.

“you know i’m sick, right?”

“right!” (he was such a definitive thing to boot.)

“and you know the drugs that will make me better make me bald, right?”

“right.”

“so you know i’m bald, right?”

(and this is where i had no choice but to get a heartwarming, squishy feeling)

“oh i was just teasing you. you can take the hat off.” (see above re definitive - and throw in some double duhs.)

so i asked the cubbie what kind of popcorn he likes - and he told me - so i bought some and handed the box to him.

and he looked at me with such a happily surprised look on his little adorable face i wanted to melt into the sidewalk.

note to parents: your kids are not stupid. they’re just really short and undereducated. so educate them. eventually the short thing will wear off naturally.

note to kids: once you’re educated, spend some time educating your parents. just because you’re short doesn’t mean you don’t know anything. in fact, you know far more than most people give you credit for.

note to all: do a good deed daily: educate someone. and if you happen to be gainfully employed and in possession of some disposable income, buy some popcorn and give it to a cute cubbie. lordy knows you don’t need it - and the scouts will be grateful for it.